i think that even if i ever do get out of KPOP due to time constraint or studies or whatever else reason, i will still care very much for my two ultimate fandoms, Big Bang and Super Junior. perhaps its because of the free time i have now that i have nothing much to do than to devote day after day just to well, put it simply, Kpop. but what happens when i don't? i guess that's for time to tell.

i've seen a question on a forum, SJ-world to be precise which asked 'Why are we so into fandom?' what is there to gain from it? if an outsider look at us, they see a bunch of people spending time and money which in the outsider's mind could be spent more wisely than to flail and spazz over random guys and girls that we don't even know and may never get the chance to meet. i've had friends who dissed me because they think i'm boy-crazy and the one and only reason i like my Kpop guys is because they're cute. but if you're a fan especially for Kpop, you would understand that it goes further and deeper than that.

i'll tell you what i gain from my fandom.

HAPPINESS.

and i really don't think its a waste of time when we're happy. i remember one of those mails that you forward around that contains inspirational/uplifting messages, there was one that had a line in it that went something like "If it puts a smile on your face, then you should hold on to it."

i see people around me sometimes so busy with things, so caught up in their problems that when they have some time alone to themselves, they don't know what to do with it. loneliness is everywhere in everyone and when it gets too much, we need to find a way to get rid of it or at least a way to be comfortable with it.

Kpop is my way. and i dare say that since the day I found God and Kpop (they were around the same time, i think), i have never felt lonely nor alone. i would admit though, that Kpop has its flaws because (at least to me) it could not remain as just a hobby. it'll turn into some sort of obsession, an addiction and if we don't manage it well, we'll end up pretty horribly *think dark circles and being broke* but i find that most fans just integrate Kpop into their lives, they surround themselves with Kpop and still live peacefully with everything else in their lives.

eh, right.
this is some crazy-weird-in-the-middle-of-the-night rant. so its possible that i don't make sense. but i've been having these thoughts in my head and i really needed to get them out to make more space for others. i think they'll be more coming because i'm definitely not done with my fandom yet.

this is it for now. goodnight.



SJ = SJ