My heart and these emotions don't work very well together. Sometimes i think it can work. Sometimes i think my heart can contain all these feelings, that it has the capacity, the ability, the durability to tuck them all safely into their correct places and make sure they don't go all psycho on me. That over time, over the piecing together that i have slowly endured, over that terrible darkness, my heart has grown stronger, fortified to sustain, learned and matured. Most times however, it just feels like i'm 14 all over again. Stumbling over my own feet, struggling to identify and name the feelings while stimultaneously running away from them till i know they're safe. I find that i run faster from the happy ones than those that hurts. Nowadays, I think that I'm getting tired of running but facing them isn't much of a choice especially if i suck at it. So, typing this whole thing was pointless. Hah. Okay, what i was trying to say was that lately, i'm feeling a lot of happy, a lot of love, a lot of tlc, a lot of things i feel like i don't deserve (yes, i'm crazy like that) which thus makes me stupid for feeling like something's wrong or will be. but there are little things here and there, things i'm not comfortable about, that irks me. I like to think of myself as patient and that's what i'll be till further observation has been made (hah! said like a true psychology student). The point is (finally) that i don't know what to do with my feelings. There is an excess of them, excess that goes both ways and i'm trying to figure out what to do. What do i do?