A/N: this was absolutely done on impulse. i just started typing and this came out. finished it in about 15 to 20 minutes but i came back and re-edited it a bit. so don't blame me if its sounds a bit off. the 'he' who smiled of course is none other than Kwon Ji Yong, because seriously his smile could kill. hmm, don't know why but i'm seeing a lot of ppl's smiles lately that can make me fall in love with. that's not a good thing actually. lol. enjoy ayway!

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Numbness should be a feeling. It’s all I know now. My head hurts. I’ve only had 2 hours of sleep last night. I was determined to finish my work, at least some of it. I could never be good enough but I need to be better than who I was.

Growing too used to falling down and getting up on my own, to crying and wiping away my own tears, yes, I believe the numbness is starting to grow on me. I struggle through each day but I guess, you couldn't call it a struggle if it happens everyday. Nahh, it should be called life and survival.

And then he came, unexpectedly and beautifully like an angel that came to save me from this weird horrible mess I’ve placed myself into. I had wanted to die. I used to tell myself I shouldn't because there are many things waiting for me to do, for me to see, for me to achieve. But my only friend, well, he couldn't find the strength to love me. Maybe I was too confused. Maybe I was too ignorant. Either way, he left. Subtly and quietly till one day I realize that he is no longer by my side and the promise we made had faded away a long time ago.

As I stood on bridge, it feels like even the winds agree with my idea for they blew hard and strong waiting for me to lose my balance and fall into the river's embrace. I thought I’d wait for the sun to set before leaving my miserable excuse of life. At least it will have a beautiful ending.

That's when I saw him. The sun's glare was right in my eyes, so I turned away and there he was, a few feet away, looking at the same sunset with a smile etched on his face that could only be described as beautiful in every essence of that word. He has a smile that could kill or bring hundreds alive. I felt happy just seeing him smile, a feeling I haven’t felt for months.

I kept looking at him, leaning closer to the railing trying to catch another glimpse of that breathtaking smile and what a breath-taker it was because as I leaned, the railing gave way and broke. I fell, looking into his eyes that spoke to me of hope and confidence. As the end came closer and I could hear the sound of the waves below me, I closed my eyes and waited for the quiet peace that will follow.

He smiled, I died.