A/N: this is to be a gdyb fic. starts off from GD's POV, in case you're confused and then it alternates. (:
//
A cut, red ink, stained pink, will this ever end? I saw a faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes and I know I will never do it again, not this way.
I’m sorry this scar lasted till the morning.
Why do you do this to yourself?
You, of all people should understand.
I do but you don’t.
I don’t want to.
* * *
Sun’s high in the sky, the rays highlighting streaks of gold and amber in your hair normally unseen under white fluorescent light. What beautiful colors they are, so alive, hidden behind bright-colored caps and red beanies with white stars. If only you can see what I see.
* * *
Broken shards of mirror, broken shards of promises; 7 years of bad luck.
You said you won’t do it again.
I know. Sorry?
* * *
I brought you to the beach, the one you said you’ve always wanted to go since you saw it in one of your forwarded mails about how its sand is black.
But why black?
So that no one can see the dirty footprints I leave behind.
We sat right on the edge where the waves brush back and forth, playing tag with the sand. Your head on my shoulder, we sat there watching the sun set.
We should leave. The sun’s down, its getting cold.
No, stay. All the warmth I need is right here sitting by my side.
* * *
Subtlety; you think I didn’t know? You loved me the moment your eyes met mine.
Why don’t you sit here? You look sad sitting at the back.
I like being sad.
But that changed when I found you or is it when you found me?
I hear the lies you hide behind your laughter. I see the pain you masquerade through those easy smiles you throw at everyone you see. You are as lonely as I am and as desperate. I’ll give you credit though, for a being a better pretender than me.
* * *
Chemistry’s such a boring subject.
Small dark musty room at the back of the lab, that’s where we always hide during chemistry class, coming out only when the teacher says, “Okay class, this is it for today.” We'll crawl back to our chairs, grab our books, say thank you and walk out as if we learned about ionic equilibrium and knew what Friedel-Crafts alkylation is all about.
We used to just talk or gossip or laugh soundlessly about things. That changed one stormy morning.
There’s something on your lips.
Ssshh, keep it low. The whole class is gonna hear you.
No worries, the skies are on our side.
Crap, zip’s stuck.
Oh yes, ahhh, you feel so good.
Faster, yes, faster! The class ends in 5 minutes.
Silenced moans, bruised lips, ruffled hair, half tucked in shirts, what a beautiful world you introduced me to in that dark dusty room. The teacher asked you why your pants were so dirty and me why my buttons were at the wrong hole. You told her my pencil dropped and rolled under the table and you crawled under to get it back for me while I explained how waking up late for school doesn’t give me enough time to get my buttons right. Stepping out of class, you turned around and started unbuttoning and buttoning them back into the right holes. Later that day, you told me chemistry wasn’t such a boring subject anymore.
* * *
You were absent today, so I hid in the toilet. Heard the sound of the toilet flushing in the next cubicle and I couldn’t help but compare myself to it. The old me, indifferent, cold with no care for this world flushed away just like that when I met you. Replaced by an alien I cannot recognize, clingy and hungry for love, unable to survive even one day without you. How pathetic. I sat through chemistry class in the end just to prove I can still live without you.
Hey, miss me?
No.
Liar.
* * *
You did it again. You promised. But you did it again. Do you not know how much I hurt every time you’re hurt?
You told me you’ll never leave any scars behind.
Proportion, addiction; either one. But I ..
No, don’t promise me you’ll never do it again. Just, just let me catch you when you fall.
Are you strong enough?
Yes.
Okay.Labels: BIGBANG, fanfic, GD, gdyb, mine, Taeyang
