i'm depressed and i'm worried. this is to be a rant post. so if you stumble upon this, don't worry much, i just need to get this off my mind. caution: its gonna be long.
lets start off with why i'm depressed. its a simple reason really. my reign is finally and undeniably over, no matter how much i'm still in denial. you have no idea how unwilling i am to let go of my posts. its hard when i worked really hard for all the societies i'm in maybe except voyager cus i still haven't finished my assignments yetssshh. gosh, what's with all my repetitive words? anyway, moving on. i have, no, wait, i HAD 8 posts. that's a lot and yet i managed and i'm so proud of that. now don't go all "yea, you screwed your studies because of them" on me cus they had nothing to with my posts and the screwing studies part is an ENTIRELY different story.
and maybe, maybe because i managed well, i feel so reluctant to pass it on to someone who might not be able to do as well. okay, okay, being a bit perasan case here but still.. i'm allowed to. this is MY blog and MY rant post. ha!
but in every story, there's an ending and this time, its my time to end. sigh.
now, why am i worried? i'm actually most worried for Boy's Brigade, more specifically the Primer section. i love BB, i really do, i have no idea why and my one prayer for them is that they will grow so much bigger and better and reach more young people and let them know about God. BB is an amazing way to reach those who are still lost, at least that's the way i see it. it is so much more than a uniformed unit, so much more than polishing belts and shoes, so much more than camps, badges, ranks and fun. its also about fellowship, about making friends that will last and learning and experiencing things you normally won't anywhere else. the most important element of course and also the reason why i believe BB is so much more than a uniformed unit is the fact that Christianity is in the midst of everything that stands for BB.
ever since i took up the responsibilty of being Primer section's president, eventhough it was God-sent because its the best thing that could happen to me, in the beginning, i was terrified. i had no idea what to do adding to the fact that it was the first time in my 16 years of life to put it simply, lead. it was something that never came to my mind and yet there i was, the president of Boys' Brigade Primer Section. i could only thank God for putting Edwin, Mr Liew, Chee Koon, Kah Loon and my fellow excos in my life cus they have done nothing but helped and guided me through my time as the president.
i learned so much, grew so much, did so much. gosh, im gonna cry. lol. so because of this, i find myself being very protective of the Primer Section. from 3 members, it grew to 9 and now its about 20 plus of em in it but quantity doesn't mean quality and more than anything, i want to see the Primers being able to fit into their true role and that is a member of BB of highest rank, that can be looked up to and teach the members instead of being taught. and now i'm worried and afraid that the members don't understand how much of a role they play in BB and i can definitely see that some of them don't really give a damn about it. that breaks my heart but the even more horrid thing is i can't do nothing anymore when i have so much in mind on how to improve them. but its all up to the next president and his vision might different from mine. lets just pray for the best. that's the only thing i could do now.
i'm so proud of the Primers, of all we did which might not be much but still we had our activities, we helped out in any way we could with the BB activities. the few things Edwin wanted us to do when we first began, we were able to accomplish. we designed the shirt, had outings, helped out during Annual Camp and other events. i hope my fellow Primers had wonderful memories from their time in the Primer Section cus i know i did. (:
aish, i just got more depressed. sigh.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life. -- Author Unknown
