Pairing: None really? (implied! EunHae, HanChul, KangTeuk, KyuMin)
Genre: slight! angst. its more to sad actually.
A/N: been wanting to write for the longest time. seeing it was Ryeowook's birthday, i thought i'd write something and this was written in a few hours time. i feel bad for making this sad. gosh, my heart breaks for everything they've been through and i just feel that things aren't gonna get better and that everyone's just hanging on by a thread but i need to believe because its all we can do. && please excuse my terrible memory if there's any wrong SuJu facts and for any past/present/future tense that went wrong. ><


Ryeowook stares at the floor, counting the boxes, counting the lines. He thinks he hears Leeteuk mumbles something about broken hearts and shining stars from where he’s lying on the couch across the room. They had reached home late, later than was originally scheduled because of the stop over at the rest house to celebrate his birthday. When they reached home, everyone gathered at the 11th floor for a round of cheers and celebration, the party being an excuse for them to drink to their hearts’ contents, to maybe for one night forget all the mess they’ve gone through and the future that is still uncertain at its worse and blurred at its best. Ryeowook had stopped drinking after Siwon started to sing praise songs in English. With everyone booing him for his bad pronunciation, he got the keys from Ryeowook and stalked off rather heftily to the 12th floor, turning on the jazz collection he keeps in Donghae’s room to the loudest.

As he looks up from the floor, he catches Kyuhyun’s eyes across the kitchen table. Because of his surgery, Kyuhyun had drank less than what he could have handled, thus not being a part of the drunken hyungs (except Eunhuk, he had just wanted to curl up next to Donghae) who had taken to falling asleep all over the living room. He had walked over to the table after draping a blanket over Sungmin and making sure he was comfortable on his side of the floor which was next to a big pink teddy bear a fan had given them in the early days before pulling out a chair and sitting down opposite Ryeowook.

It’d be nice if Kangin was here, wouldn’t it? He’d be bellowing out some sad love song even though this was a birthday celebration. Kyuhyun said, smiling to himself as he got reminded of his own birthday last year.

Well, he texted me. So. Ryeowook replied knowing that that simple text was already more than he could ask for. He had wanted to invite him over but when he mentioned the text to Eunhyuk and saw him casting a quick glance to Leeteuk who’s running away from a cake-smashing Donghae, he knew that even if it was the right thing to do, it wasn’t the wisest. All he did was reply Thank you. Miss you too, hyung and saved the text into his Saved Messages and into his heart.

Ryeowook turns to look at Heechul who has suddenly gotten up from the other side of Leeteuk’s couch, stumbling a little while trying to maneuver a way through the tangle of limbs that are Eunhyuk and Donghae in the middle of the floor. Ryeowook looks up at him as he puts both his hands on his shoulders, the smell of soju still clinging to his breath.

Wookie ah, do you know how to cook Hankyung’s Beijing fried rice? Heechul says slurring half of his words, his legs kept from buckling because he was holding on to Ryeowook’s shoulders. Ryeowook nodded, taking Heechul’s hands and guiding him to the nearest bed, which was Eunhyuk’s and lying him down on it.

Ahh, make for me one day, will you? Thank you so much, Wookie ah. How my breakfasts would be different without you. He used to cook for me but now, now that he’s gone. Is this Hyukkie’s bed? It smells like him. Heechul mumbles; unshed tears and days of missing someone that could never come back lacing his words as Ryeowook tucks him in.

Shhh, go to sleep, hyung. I promise I'll make you the fried rice. Ryeowook says while pulling up the blanket till it reaches his chin, remembering how he used to see Hankyung do this for Heechul when he comes home from one of his ‘meetings’ drunk and ranting about blood types and bad hairstyles and he would say shut up, Chul, you’ll wake the others up and stays next to him till he falls asleep. Heechul would shut up after the third time Hankyung says that to him.

As Ryeowook walks out of Eunhyuk’s room, a figure runs pass him and heads to the toilet, the toilet bowl to be exact. Ryeowook soaks a towel in warm water and wipes Shindong’s forehead, another hand patting his back as he continued to puke his dinner, lunch, breakfast and even Ryeowook’s birthday cake out. Shindong finally done, slumps next to the toilet bowl, his head on Ryeowook’s shoulders and sighs.

Ryeowook wanted to ask if he was okay before he heard a low rumbling from Shindong’s side and knew that he was already fast asleep. He called for Kyuhyun hoping he could come help him lift Shindong to somewhere more hygienic to sleep in and it took a few more times before Kyuhyun pokes his head in.

If you’re asking me to carry him, I’m not doing it. Kyuhyun shoots out before Ryeowook even had the chance to open his mouth.

Please, he’s not that heavy anymore. And we can’t just leave him here. The dorm ahjumma hasn’t cleaned this floor yet. Ryeowook pleads, attempting to lift Shindong to prove that with the two of them, they could easily move him somewhere else and stumbles a little as he puts one arm across his shoulder. Kyuhyun, after shooting glare at the snoring Shindong walks over and puts his other arm across his shoulders. After a few tries and Kyuhyun muttering doesn’t mean he’s not heavy under his breath, they managed to get him into the nearest room, Eunhyuk’s. Seeing that Heechul kicked off his blanket, Ryeowook draped it over Shindong who they had dropped onto the floor. After making sure that Shindong could not bump into Eunhyuk’s dresser and rearrange the positions of Eunhyuk’s mixes of bottles and containers on the dresser, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun left and went back to sit where they were from.

Kibum sent me a text too. And Hankyung emailed me last week. He must be too busy and got the dates mixed up. Ryeowook mentioned these to Kyuhyun as if saying them would make things better, would make it feel like they’re complete, like nothing happened.

Do you think we’ll be alright? Kyuhyun said, barely a whisper because he’s afraid of the answer but having an answer even if it’s a lie is better than not hoping at all.

Ryeowook looks at him, sees the bandage he still has on his ear and thinks maybe not but he doesn’t say that because even if he doesn’t believe in promises or himself, he believes in hope and says yes, I think we’ll be alright.

And he hopes that his birthday wish will come true.


end.

SJ=SJ