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I have discovered a new fear.

What if no matter what I do, he will never be able to satisfy the part of me that needs love and attention to the point of obsession? What if no matter what he does, I will never be able to hear the words "I love you"?

What if I'm never desired the way I've always dreamt of? 

What if I'm never wanted to the point of insanity?

(Where is our blazing fire?)

You know how you'll get all excited about seeing the person you love eventhough you just saw them 8 hours ago? I do, I still do but I realised that it is also always tinged with a reminder to tone it down (because I'm afraid I'll give too much).

Because in this relationship, while he is the one who balances me out, I'm the one that's putting too much in. And no matter how much I think about it or how selfless I can be, I can't get past the fact that it feels like I'm the only one who is holding this relationship together.
(I still worry every day if you've forgotten me.)

Too late, baby. Much too late. We've been together for eight months. I can count on no fingers the amount of times that you have voluntarily (without being asked) told me that I am pretty/beautiful (rolls eye at this because like hell this word would ever come out of your mouth)/cute/sexy or that you are happy to see me/happy that I'm your gf/proud of me/boast about me in front of your friends.
(Why do things have to be different in private and in public?)

The most you've done is compliment my clothes (thrice btw) which if you didn't know, does not exactly mean it was compliment. All you're doing is agree that the clothes I bought is nice which is the reason I bought them in the first place. Thanks.

I'm afraid that one day I can't take it any more. Oh, I am a romantic as much as I try to deny it. But really, considering the amount of romance novels and K-dramas that I devour, is it any surprise?

I want to be swept of my feet, I want to be desired, I want to be treasured, cherished, I want to be romanced and sweet-talked (I am a sucker for words glazed in sugar). I want to know I am worth putting the effort in for. I want to know that like any other girl, I deserve hearts and flowers and to be wined and dined. You see, I know how it feels like to be looked at as if I'm the one and only. I know how it feels like to be understood the way someone who loves and listens understand. I know that love can be magical.
(Where is my magic?)

I'm afraid that one day, I will realise that the words I have been semi-patiently waiting for will never actually arrive. I'm afraid that one day, I will look at you and think that I can live without you. I'm afraid that one day, I will finally understand why you need your 'own' time because I'd need it too, permanently.

I love you but I am starved.
And I cannot survive like this for long.